What an emotional day! I turned 41 today and I think I can finally say that I'm getting comfortable in my own skin and with who I am. (Seriously, 41?) This was a no-big-deal birthday so it was a low-key day in that respect. Everyone was so nice to me and I got a ton of Facebook greetings (thank you to those that wrote to me today, I was really touched). My family was especially sweet today, thanks Curtis, Dominic, Anna, Jenny, and mom! I also want to wish Heather, Joey, and Allison a very special Happy Birthday too.
But today was the day that my little girl moved out to start her new adventure... college. (There are a few pics up on my Facebook page but I'll repost them here.) I didn't expect it to be so sad for me or so hard either. I was really surprised that I burst into tears when Jenny pulled away and that I've gone into her room a half a dozen times this evening to sit on her stripped bed. She's only 4 hours away and I'm so glad we'll get to see her on Friday to help her move into her dorm (she had to Corpus Christi for a freshman orientation camp and can't move in until Friday). So why so sad, mommy?
I'm not sure exactly. I think it's a lot of things. She and I have always been close and I've always felt like I was the lucky one to get her, kwim? I knew the minute I held her as a newborn that she was an old soul and that she would teach me things. And she did. She needs to get away and have a chance to really live. Being a big sister to Anna has been a blessing and has required some sacrifices... and Jenny is aware that there may be a time when I'm gone that she will be responsible for Anna. But for now, it's HER time.
I think about my youngest, Dominic, starting first grade next week and I heave a sigh of relief that I have so much time left with him. Then I think about Anna and worry that she won't be able to make this transition to college or even to be independent. Did I mention that I was emotional today? Oy, I'm all verklempt. So at the moment, I sit on the couch with laptop on lap, enjoying and mourning the silence. What a weird mix.
Checking the map: